So much of modern, American culture is soaked in the idea of moving forward, moving upward, moving onward. How do you exist and navigate life when you just feel like you are stuck in one place? Sometimes we can experience a feeling of being stuck relationally, vocationally, or sometimes even in the therapy room. This is a common experience and feeling for so many people- even if it seems like it is not when we look around us.

Feeling stuck can cause feelings of overwhelm. It can cause our heads to spin or make our brains foggy. It can cause us to question our own worth or ability to change our circumstances. While these things may or may not be true, they don’t feel good to experience and it can be hard to know your next right step to grow, change, and heal toward the kind of life you most want.

How do you know you’re stuck?

The same thought keeps cycling through your head. It’s familiar and you’re realizing it’s familiar. It’s blocking any other thoughts from making their way into your psyche and as a result, to your behavior.

You’re overwhelmed, foggy, restless, and can’t pinpoint why. Things that used to matter don’t really matter as much anymore. You’re unsure how to dedicate your time and energy and what you used to spend your time doing doesn’t feel like it quite scratches “the itch.”

You’re dreading seeing your therapist. Your internal monologue is, “Nothing is working and I don’t know if it’s them or me.” You aren’t sure what to talk about or how to progress in therapy.

Let’s talk about some easy, practical tools to unstick.

Why do we get stuck in the first place? There can be a few reasons we feel like we are on the hamster wheel of life and really not moving anywhere.

EMOTIONAL OVERLOAD: At times, there is too much to process in life, and our mind is sending signals to our body to shut down. We can feel stuck when this happens, even though our body is trying to give itself what it needs in order to slow down and heal fully. Our minds and bodies are needing to take a pause.

FEAR OF CHANGE: Sometimes that hamster wheel can start to feel really comfortable. Is there a change you’re telling yourself you want, but are truly, deep-down, afraid to embrace? Does the change you’re avoiding feel threatening?

OLD WAYS OF COPING: Our minds and bodies are incredible, and they do so much to help us survive difficult situations. However, maybe you are in a new season or circumstance- and what used to help you survive a difficult situation is now keeping you stagnant in a new and better circumstance.

UNREALISTIC EXPECTATIONS: Sometimes, we can believe that growth should look a certain way, feel a certain way, or be fast. Truly, slow and steady wins the race and can provide the deepest form of healing possible.

So if this is you, how do you get unstuck?

First of all, name what is really going on. Slow down to identify the root of the feeling you’re having. Are you noticing resistance, fear, grief, exhaustion, or something else?

Secondly, change your large movements into micro-movements. If your goal is to change your entire life, try instead to think of one small next right step. Disrupting what is expected, even in small ways, can help bolster creativity and get our minds thinking about life differently. Additionally, think of a new way to talk to yourself about “being stuck.” What are other ways you could describe this time? Are you in a season of waiting? Are you pausing? Are you protecting something? Changing your narrative around this time can help your nervous system.

Lastly, instead of judging yourself for feeling stuck or being stuck, try to get curious about what is going on for you.

When it happens in therapy, therapists often get excited. This can signal to a therapist that this is actually a sign of deeper work about to begin. Bring up your feelings directly with your therapist and process through what you’re thinking. Therapists want to know if you feel stuck and believe your honesty matters. Sometimes, though, it may be that experiencing this feeling of being stuck is part of the work and journey of your specific healing.

The feeling of being stuck is a normal part of the human experience and the journey of healing, and often, it’s a signal that it’s time for deeper exploration. Extend to yourself self-compassion as you consider the non-linear, slow-burn of real and deep growth and healing.