Have you ever experienced someone saying something negative about you and you find yourself thinking about it the rest of the day…or longer? Negativity grabs our attention and sticks with us because it causes pain. Pain is an alarm bell; a signal that we might be headed towards death.

Our bodies react instinctively to this with the sympathetic nervous system (SNS). You’ve probably heard of “fight or flight.” This is our body’s reaction to real or perceived threats and how we respond to stress. During “fight or flight” our bodies let more light into our eyes to help us see threats better. Our heart rate and breathing increase to get oxygen to muscles so we can throw punches or run away. Our digestion slows down so as not to waste energy on what I’ll call “non-essential” functions (after all, eating is not very important if you aren’t going to live). Glucose held in your liver gets released so energy can be used quickly. (Cleveland Clinic, 2022).

Here are some symptoms we get when those functions don’t turn off:

• Tight muscles causing a stiff back or headaches
• Stomach issues making you run to the bathroom frequently or burning in your chest from acid reflux
• Difficulty falling or staying asleep
• Heart flutters like it’s skipping a beat or tightness that makes you think you’re having a heart attack
• Fatigue that drags you down even during minor tasks making you crave a nap

We often dwell on what we lack, what we missed or how life could be different – replaying why someone treated us poorly, why we didn’t get a promotion, or why we aren’t further along in life. While asking “why” can help us learn from mistakes, lingering on lack can turn grief into a daily grind. It activates the SNS and keeps it running.

While we can’t prevent negative events, we can interrupt the cycle and give our bodies a break.

One way of doing that is practicing gratitude: shifting focus from negativity to something positive. Gratitude means being grateful or thankful for the good in life despite the challenges and loss (dictionary.com, 2024). This simple practice activates the parasympathetic nervous system (PNS), helping us calm down and exit “fight or flight” mode.

When we are able to calm back down we are able to reduce the negative symptoms listed above and experience the benefits of the “non-essential” functions like better digestion and libido (Burtka & Wendt, 2024).

For some good prompts to direct you towards positive thoughts, check out last week’s post here: Gratitude Journal for Emotional Healing

For those of you who like simple, easy-to-remember tools, retired Navy SEAL, Jocko Willink gives a cool reframe of negative events in our lives:

References

Allison Torres Burtka, Taylor Wendt. (2024, November 10). Understanding the Parasympathetic Nervous System. Retrieved November 18, 2024, from https://www.webmd.com/brain/parasympathetic-nervous-system-what-to-know

Cleveland Clinic. (2022, June 6). Sympathetic Nervous System (SNS). https://my.clevelandclinic.org/health/body/23262-sympathetic-nervous-system-sns-fight-or-flight. Retrieved November 18, 2024.

Dictionary.com. Gratitude. Retrieved November 18, 2024, from https://www.dictionary.com/browse/gratitude

Jocko Willink “Good” (Official) [Video]. Jocko Podcast (Director). (2016, January 25). [YouTube]